Blogging 101: Day 1 – The candle that burns on both ends

Despite the violence, the screams and the utter chaos below, the rooftop was quiet. 2 figures, one lean and pale, the other tanned and chubby, stood opposite each other. They weren’t friends anymore. The portly man had a gun pointed at the other. “I have to try” he said, regret cracking his voice. “I know.” His pale companion replied. Even with the gun, his former friend stood no chance. “Half as long…” began the chubby one. “Twice as bright” ended the pale man.

The above scene is from InFamous 2. In it you can be the hero or the villain depending on your choices. In the “Evil” ending, the final scene is between you, a super powered anti-hero, and your once trusted side kick. He knows he has no chance. But he chooses to stand against you anyway.

That scene stayed with me. As someone with anxiety and social problems, coupled with a pessimistic brain and crippling low self-esteem (that’s what my therapist says), this was something I didn’t quite understand.

Why?

Why would he go against someone so much stronger than he was? I thought about it for a long time. About why he did it and how it applied to me. This is what I got so far.

We all have this idea about who we want to be one day and like most, I was content to wait for it to happen. I was content to let my own laziness and fear take control of my life. Like the sidekick, I was alright with sitting on the couch and watching television while the world went to hell around me. It wasn’t until I watched that scene that I saw what I could do. Who I could become if i tried.

I chose the name “Half as long, Twice as Bright” because it’s the person I want to be. I don’t want a long life, just a bright one. I want to burn the candle on both ends. I want to give someone else that same spark to do what they want with their lives. I want to be the match that starts the fire that lights up the darkness in our lives. Or at the very least, be the spark that ignites it.

But I am not that person.

Not yet.

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